21 December 2017

'Sex disgusts me' — Ask sis Dolly

"He knew I was a virgin and agreed not to force me."

Anonymous: "I was 18 when I went clubbing and met my ex who's a DJ. We went to his place and we kissed. He pulled out a condom and I said no because I wanted to wait until I'd turned 21. The following morning I woke up and realised there was blood on the sheet and that I was naked."

"I was confused and Don't remember anything to this day. I'm now 23 and haven't had sex since then. I want to do it, yet at the same time I think it's nasty. Whenever a guy suggests we move to the next level I dump him. Am I a lesbian or straight?"

Sis Dolly answers:

The main indicator that you're lesbian is an attraction to women and not men. Is this the case? If not, then chances are you're not a lesbian. However, it sounds like you're still dealing with the trauma of the rape. I know you say you don't remember anything, but violation, anger and betrayal is what you experienced and that's why your response is that of fear and disgust at the thought of sex. You need trauma counselling.

Please contact Rape Crisis on 021 361 9085.