Updated 27 September 2017

MY STORY: I have been a side chick to several boyfriends

Nompendulo* had been a side-chick so many times and gotten away with it, until a time when one wife lost it.


I've been a side chick to to several of my boyfriends. Strange enough, most of them I was in monogamous relationship with. My first serious relationship was with Mr. T for whom I left my child's father and boyfriend of the 7 years. We dated for two years. Since we never lost contact. We never officially" broke up. Years after we we stopped a sexual relationship, he helped me a job I'm currently at.

After him, I dated a guy who had a girlfriend for a couple of months, then while at work met a guy who way soon to be married, I called him Mr. H. Mr H and I never really had a sexual relationship but he did everything for me. We still keep in touch with him as well.

So for all those times I was doing okay as a side chick, I dated those guys in peace, until I met Mr N. He was different from the men I previously dated because unlike my previous men Mr N was not in a happy relationship with his main woman. He was having issues with his wife, so I was his solace. I was okay with that.

Everything was going well until he had resolved his problems at home and he said he wanted to keep me as his girlfriend even though he was now happy at home. He even suggested he would make me his second wife. While we were in discussions of what we will do next, his wife somehow how found out and all hell broke lose.

The wife went bersek and attacked me verbally. We had verbal exchanges and often screaming matches on the phone. She was often threatening and it got so bad that I had to block him and stop talking to him. I haven't spoken to him since. It could have ended badly because if I hadn't handled everything like I did, the wife was threatening to beat me up with her friends.

I moved on from that drama and currently, I'm the only one in my relationship. I am in a serious relationship with my partner. When I look back at the people I dated I realise that I was okay with being a side chick because I never wanted my exes to leave their spouses. I later realised that for the longest time I had commitment issues because during this time I had suitors that had potential to be partners. I think because I liked the single lifestyle, going out clubbing and partying all the time. And with a guy that's married he's not available after certain times and that worked for me. Also the vacations were great because the only places you would go out with him publicly is where no one knows you. Though, with the Mr. T our affair was very public even to this date, we comment on each other's posts, tag and even call all most every other day.

The sad part about being a side chick is it's very lonely. The men are never available when you need them. You celebrate all the special holidays either before or after the days have passed, you never even have a priority on the plans you have.


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