21 December 2017

'I am stuck in loveless marriage' — Ask sis Dolly

"We have been married for six years."

Zanele asks Sis Dolly: I’m 27 years old and have been married to my husband (32) for six years. We have a son together. We first began having problems with our marriage in 2008 and things are so bad now that I hate him.

Basically, I think the problem is he’s having an affair, because he never has a nice word to say to me. He’s always moody and angry when he’s at home; he’s nasty to me, ignores our son, stays out very late on weekends and never spends time with me.

 We make love once a month, if that, and he’s always tired when he’s home. I don’t know what to do about the situation because my anger is killing me.

 Sis Dolly answers: It seems you and your husband has drifted apart and has found yourselves in a loveless marriage. But before you do anything drastic, try to save your marriage, not only because you have a child to consider, but so you know you tried everything before throwing in the towel.

I suggest you sit your husband down and say that things can’t continue the way they’re going.

 Explain to him that his behaviour is making you unhappy and you would like to understand what’s going on. Give him the benefit of the doubt – don’t assume he’s having an affair. He could have other problems he’s not sharing with you that are making him feel stressed.

 If the two of you can’t talk about the state of your marriage in a helpful way then I suggest you contact a Famsa office in your area (011-975-7106) and talk about your problems with a relationship counsellor.

 If this doesn’t work, perhaps you should separate for a while and see if you can work on your relationship that way. If not, you have no choice but to part company permanently