Sorry to hear about your sadness, Rebecca, and that you've had such a rough life. The only right thing to do about that, is to start as soon as possible to put this right, and not to just discard yourself : you're far more important and valuable than that. You haven't mentioned the details : do you not think your mother or father would help you to get proper expert help ? DO you go to school, or to church ? If so, a sympathetic teacher or minister could help you to get the help you need and deserve. Seek out a doctor at a hospital or clinic, and tell them how desperate you feel, and ask them to help you find help.
When you can see someone capable, you will be able to fully discuss the rough experiences you have had, how bad you feel as a result of this, and they will be able to help you get proper counselling, to learn to start putting your life right again, so you can move towards a much happier future
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