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Question
Posted by: anonymous | 2019/12/09

Outlaws causing drama in my marriage

My outlaws are causing such a rift in my marriage, to the point that I am considering divorce. The father in law (not my husbands father) has many psychiatric issues and I don't trust him around my kids. My mother in law, gets involved and takes his side but its always behind my husbands back, there are always back handed comments that no one else picks up. How do I address this? Its gone as far as them telling my kids they are "not allowed" to see them - which is an absolute lie

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/12/11

Hello anon,
Sorry for the delay. Here in darkest Pretoria many of us have been without electricity for over 3 days, then the Telkom lines went down for an hour or two, and so on.  Could be worse : I understand that with stage 9 load shedding, they come to your home and steal all matches and candles, too.
Sorry to hear of the miserable situation you're describing. It sounds as if your husband is also suffering from these unpleasant outlaw in-laws. 
I've checked the constitution and there's no legal obligation for you, your family, or children to ever meet or have anything to do with these in-laws, especially if they cause any of you any distress.
Just tell your mother-in-law that you have serious concerns about the instability of her husband, and he is not welcome at your home, or to have anything to do with the children.  You can say you're sorry if this is distressing for her, but if she continues to get involved on her husband's side, and/or to communicate critical and negative messages to your children, she will have to be included in that exclusion,  for the sake of the well-being of your family. 
What do other reader think of such situations, and how would you deal with them ?

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