Our expert says:
COngratulations on all your excellent achievements. It's a shame that your aunt, etc, are childishly jealous and mean --- just handle them with dignity. It takes a great deal of hard work to get a degree and good jobs --- any idiot can become pregnant, even while they're unconscious --- it is not a CLEVER thing to do. If these folks concentrate on making you and your mother feel bad, then you two should make it clear that you will not attend family gathering where they are present, and will not invite them to any gatherings you hold. And if anyone else in the family asks about this, say clearly that it is because you are both sick of the spiteful and cruel things they always say out of their jealousy over your success.
And can't you form or find a new social group, that is less obsessed with their kids ? Its natural that mothers, especially those who do nothing else in their lives, talk about their kids. But that doesn't necessarily bake them good company for those folks who are interested in other things, and who don't currently have kids.
As for relationships, maybe your lower self-esteem leads you to put up with a second rate man like the guy you describe, rather than getting the better guy you deserve. Seeing a counsellor would help you to gain confidence and work out better ways to find a better class of man.
At work, speak to your boss again, and to HR, about the unfairness of receiving half the pay of a colleague at the same level and work as you, and about him looading more work onto you and bragging about his earnings. If they won't do anything about it, contact the CCMA, Dept of Labour and a good labour lawyer
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