Posted by: | 2019/07/02

What's the best way to ask someone older than me if they are interested in having a casual sexual relationship?

I'm 26 male, and I've always found women that are 40+ sexually attractive in a way I've never found women my own age. Well, ok, not ALWAYS, I began to notice myself noticing older women sexually more so than girls my age when I was around 23ish.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSex expert
- 2019/07/04

There is no best way: each situation is unique. As social constructions around age and dating (particularly of older women by younger men) change, so young men are able to find older women attractive. 

If you are attracted to someone, you obviously need to gauge their attraction to you first and foremost. Usually, because of the age gap (and this only tends to occur between much younger men and older women) it will be assumed that this relationship will be mostly sexual. Of course, feelings can develop, but usually both partners understand that the relationship has a limited time frame - which can be months or years!

Older women tend to be more straightforward and therefore it is easier to have an open discussion about a purely sexual relationship with them.

Otherwise they are not completely different from women your own age. A bit of flattery and flirting can go a long way. If they seem interested then you can take the next step.

Good luck! And be honest. It is the best way forward.

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Posted by: Anonymous | 2019/08/27


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