Our expert says:
Anon, I'm bothered that you ask whether you SHOULD be doing this or that. This suggests that you might be asking permission ; maybe the question is more : is this a wise thing to do ? It also sounds as though both of you are ambivalent about the divorce, and still fond of each other. It's excellent that you are both being friendly in relation to your children. Far too often, divorcees use their children as weapons against each other, which is harmful and unfair.
It sounds as though you may not have paused before legally proceeding through a divorce, to explore the value of marriage counseling. It isn't a form of relationship glue, but it enables you to explore whether the problems distressing you are actually soluble, and if not, to at least part peacefully, and having learned from your problems, how to try to avoid them arising in future relationships.
It might still be worth, if you both feel open to the idea, some couples counselling even at this stage, for these potential benefits ; and again, at least to be able to satisfy yourselves that you will both be best suited by and able to thrive, after the separation.
Also, you need to rediscover your own sense of worth : you are a good and worthwhile person in yourself, and not because of being in a relationship with anyone. You sound a bit anxious about not being in a new relationship yet ; don't be in too much of a hurry. Many people take much longer to find a good relationship after divorce, and some find they're happy and content on their own.
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