Our expert says:
Hello. Apologies for my the delay in answering your question. The message alert system clearly is not working!
No, don't wait to let him know how you feel. Start as you mean to go on. Patterns and habits can be set up and those can be more difficult to change later on.
Unfortunately with the rise of porn consumption/viewing, many men (and some women) have pornified sex. This can work on occasion for some couples, but as the idea of sex and what it should feel like is based on something which is either not real or somebody else's version of sexual interactions, measuring your sex life (and your partner's), wants and deepest desires only on what has been viewed, can be problematic. No less, because most mainstream porn is predominantly created for the cisgender hetero normative male gaze. It lacks intimacy, women are objectified and it can be misogynistic.
So you need to negotiate a little give and take. Some of what you want and some of what he wants and then finding a way to explore and have sexual adventures together.
His shyness may be inhibiting for him so you may sometimes have to be bolder and lead the way. The more you trust each other, the more inclined you will be to experiment and work out what feels right for you as a couple.
Of course, it may be a lot deeper than this, and you may need couple counselling or to lave the relationship. Good luck!
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