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Question
Posted by: | 2019/04/12

Masturbation without even knowing

Dear Dr Learnmonth I am a 34 year old female, married with one child. I would like to know if it is possible to be masturbating without knowing? My husband has recently confronted me saying that he has noticed me masturbating every evening. He has woken me up to tell me I'm doing it again, but when he asked me up I'm waking from a deep sleep and have no sensitivity on my clitoris and no odour on my hands. I'm very worried about it and it's like he is forcing me to confess but I don't even know I'm doing it. My sex drive is not as high as his and masturbating is not something I do. Please help me. I'm so worried.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSex expert
- 2019/04/19

Good evening. This is not something I have heard of, but it is not impossible. Why do you think your husband would accuse you of something that you are not doing? It seems as if he wants more sex from you as you mention he difference in your sex drives? 


Do you have any sexual dreams in which you are very sexually aroused? You say evening, I am assuming that you mean at night.

I would say that you should not worry, but clearly this distresses you, because you "do not do masturbation". There is nothing wrong with masturbating, unless it becomes compulsive, and I can understand that masturbating without knowing you are doing so is distressing. If you are actually sleep masturbating (is there any way you can test if you actually are doing so) you may in fact be suppressing real sexual urges. They are coming out in your dreamworld/sleep-state because you cannot allow them to exist consciously. 

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