Posted by: | 2020/01/20

I’ve never seen my partner’s Facebook profile

I’ve been with my partner for just over a year now and it just recently occurred to me that I’ve never once seen her Facebook profile. It doesn’t show up in searches anywhere. It probably makes a bit more sense knowing that I don’t use social media for personal use — only business accounts. So naturally I don’t have the means to ‘friend’ her. I must say that I feel very deeply for my partner and have great trust in her and our relationship. This is the first time that something like this has crept up in my mind and it’s creating a tiny bit of doubt knowing that I’m not aware of her online social life. I feel this way because I know that (unfortunately) the online life can be a very ‘real’ life for some. I have no idea ‘who’ she is online. I’m very happy with who she is in reality, but recently feel concerned about things I may not know. I have not asked her to see her profile/s as social media hardly features in my life and it never bothered me until now. I’m concerned that asking would raise suspicions and thoughts of mistrust in her mind. Am I just being nosy or do I, as her partner, have a right to view her social media activity without an account of my own?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2020/01/21

Firstly I'm pleased to hear from another person who leads a healthy and wholesome life without spending time on "social" media.  But though I appreciate the sincerity of your concerns, do recognize that this is a bit like saying that she plays Badminton, and you don't, and, having never actually watched her play, you're wondering what goes on during such games. 
If you're really curious, I suppose you could start a conversation with her about social media and Facebook, revealing that you've been feeling a bit curious about how it all works, and why some people find it so interesting and time-consuming.  As her about how she finds it, what she finds appealing about it, and how it works.  As if she'd mind showing you her own Facebook site, and what goes on in such sites. Maybe even suggest you're thinking about opening a Facebook page yourself, and wondering what it actually involves : maybe she'd show you how to do so.
As I understand it within most such systems, you really only get full access to someone's "page" if you yourself are enrolled, and formally link to them as a "friend", so that's probably why you'd not otherwise access all of the site on your own. 
The rules are set up by Facebook, or its rivals, though individuals can block some others from accessing their site, or by simply not "friending" them, not enable full access.   Generally between a couple in a close real relationship, neither would object to enabling the other to access their page : from what you say, it may well be that as you have shown no interest in this, she hasn't thought of you in that context, and so has just not included you, rather than actively excluding you.
Se where such a conversation leads, and feel free to return to this forum ( with a NEW message, or I won't see it ) to let us know how tbings develop

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