Our expert says:
Sadly, I am familiar with this sort of tragic situation. Years ago, I became involved in the development of ways to help, which at first focused on cancer patients, and so we developed Hospice care. And out of that the new specialty of Palliative Medicine, or Palliative Care. This focused on developing ways to relieve pain and all other serious symptoms, such as breathlessness. They may be able to help him directly, and to advise the doctors caring for his current problem.
So it may well be useful for you to contact your nearest Hospice program for advice and help. They may even be able to admit him for a short while to fully assess him and find potential remedies to relieve his suffering. And yours, of course, because people too often fail to recognize the suffering of relatives an caregivers trying to help in such circumstances. They will also have experienced counselors able to help you and your father.
Within hospice and palliative care, what you ask for is also well recognized as important : it's called Respite Care, including admitting a patient for a week or so to tidy up their care plans, and to enable the family caregivers to have a short rest and to care for themselves.
Sometimes some of the problems can be caused or worsened by side-effect of some needed med being given for good reasons, but varying the specific med, or doses and times, may relieve such problems. For instance, some meds may cause irritability, or confusion, as a side-effect.
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