Our expert says:
The insurance payout was to you, so it's your money. And I presume you can do with it as you wish. You would not be stingy to spend it entirely as you please, and if you;re wise, you should make full provision for your own future and old age. It doesn't sound as though any of the rest of the selfish and greedy bunch would do anything to help you.
Don't allow any guilt you may feel about how unpleasantly you may have behaved in the past when under great stress. That was between you and your late husband. It does not mean you owe anything to others who haven't bothered to make proper provision for themselves. Sounds like your younger brother is managing things well now. Great.
Your brothers seem to be the problem, wasteful and not having bothered to have the prudence to provide for themselves. That's not your fault. Yes, the lockdown, etc may make it more difficult for them : they should explore what they might be entitled to from the state in current emergency provisions. Maybe social services can advise them about their options.
Continue to discuss things with your financial advisor. Maybe you shouldn't make further "loans" to them, when they don't respect it, unless they do respect you and sign proper legal undertakings to pay the loans back. But if they have left themselves with no resources, you may know they will not be able to pay you back, so loans would not be loans.
Don't encourage them to assume you will simply blindly sponsor them. If you want to occasionally give them some money as a gift and you can afford to do so, then if you have reasons to fear they will waste it, maybe think of not giving them any cash, but perhaps paying for rent, or some other specific expense directly to whoever they owe that money to, rather than in the form of cash they can use as they please.
What do other readers think ? Surely during Lockdown you have more than enough time on your hands to send in your own thoughts on the issues raised in this forum ?
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