Posted by: Rina | 2019/08/12

Do I have legal rights

Hello. I am in a 8 year relationship, living with my boyfriend for 2 years. Since moving in with him, he has mentally abused me every day, so bad that I had to see a psychiatrist, can I sue him?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink
- 2019/08/13

Hello Rina,
I understand why you might think of suing someone who has been behaving towards you in a way you found hurtful.  But think carefully about what response would be most useful for you. 
Remember the absolute truth : whenever anyone sues anyone, the only people who ALWAYS win and who make money out if it, are the lawyers on both sides.  Even in situations where someone has been mean and nasty, it can be hard to prove that this happened, and then to prove that it substantially damaged you. 
The first question anyone would ask, would be: well, why didn't you / don't you, just leave him ?  Why did you choose to spend 8 years living with someone who is abusive towards you every day ?  You are not compelled to live with someone who behaves like that.
In fact, in law there is a concept that would say that by continuing for so long to live with such a person, you have been condoning his behaviour ( you've been behaving as though it was OK to do what he was doing ) and encouraging him to continue in that way.
So set aside for now the issue of suing him : start with a diagnosis, not with a treatment.  What is wrong ? What needs to be changed ? What would be best for you ?  Use time with your psychiatrist or psychologist / counsellor to talk through your options. how you can leave an abuser and make your own way in life, and make wiser decisions that will be more likely to benefit you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2019/08/13

I wouldn't. Rather put him in the past completely and move on. Spend that money and energy on working on yourself. Perhaps consider starting an NGO to help woman in this situation even if something like online support or more practical ways. There are other opportunities to work through your anger and hurt and so on - try to make good out of it. You will feel better in the long run. Maybe you have had counseling and maybe you need more. But getting the other person never really works as you just relive it and feel worse. Maybe even guilt. Build on the positives. It won't change him or teach him a lesson (may even make him take it out on another woman) - he has to change himself and want to to do it. Don't waste time on him. Live your life to your full potential. He doesn't deserve another second of your time or concern. Don't show him anything least of all you care or want revenge - forget him. Work on you.

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