Our expert says:
You don't mention how old this brilliantly successful gold-digger is. Clearly he sounds deluded in thinking that they might have a future together : if she has avoided living with him for 10 years whole fleecing him for every cent she can get from him, she's not going to change such successful plan now.
At his age, is it possible that he may be dementing ? He is showing no judgement at all, and this must be a relatively recent loss, as he past history would have been different if he had been this daft from the start.
Would he be prepared to see a trusted doctor, maybe a GP, for an assessment, even if expects it to vindicate him and show how well he is ? Such a doctor would need to receive from the family a summary of his sad recent history of financial ruin and exploitation.
I'm not sure of the likely success of the legal interventions you mention : discuss with your lawyer the more usual action in such circumstances, an application to a court to have him declared mentally unfit to handle his own affairs, and the court appointment of someone empowered to act on his behalf. If successful, it would allow his finds to be used for his genuine benefit, NOT for hers. The appointed administrator would surely stop paying for greedfy madam's accommodation : why hasn't she bothered to provide for her own costs ?
I wonder whether a private investigator might find some interesting and relevant background in this woman, whether, for instance, she has done something like this before.
Meanwhile absolutely STOP giving him any cash at all. Ask him to give you invoices for his genuine expenses, and pay them directly, so he has nothing he can share with her. She's not going to starve, so her interests and claimed needs are no concern of yours. She might well have several old men in her collection.
Don;t give him stuff he can five to her. If you really feel he might go hungry : invite him to visit and eat with you and your siblings. Speak with one of the old age oriented charities : maybe they have somewhere he could stay, or at least get meals, and could not invite her.
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