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Updated 28 October 2013

When sex is a pain

Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable activity but for many it can become very painful. Our experts answer reader questions.

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Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable activity but for many it can become very painful. Health24's Sexologist and GynaeDoc answer reader questions.

Q:  Pains and stings after sex

Last night my husband and I had sex, and after it, I cried of pain. It felt like everything wants so fall out, like knifes sticking into my womb, my bladder is painful, and the stings can be felt in my behind. I’ve never experienced this kind of pain. Any idea what could be wrong?

Expert

Possibly a bladder infection. I would suggest that you see your doctor.

Q: Testicular pain

I have noticed when I do not masturbate for 2 days I. get a pain in my left testicle , it’s so painful , and can’t even touch the testicle some time it’s become bigger but as soon as I masturbate the pain goes away ? I need to know is this an infection or just normal?

Expert

It would be better to discuss this with your medical doctor. It may be nothing, but rather let him make sure about it. You are not supposed to have testicular pain on a regular basis.

Q: Painful sex

I seriously don’t know what is wrong with me. Sex is painful as hell I don’t feel like my clit actually works and my boyfriend thinks I don’t want to have sex because I’m not attracted to him anymore this is not the case, I love him and want to be with him but I’m so focused on not getting hurt when we have sex. I’m so worried about what’s wrong with me, candida, chlamydia, stress, cysts. What the hell is it? The doctor also didn’t tell me much she just said here are some antibiotics and you’ll be good as new, it’s just gotten worse and worse. I need help.

Expert

If you are having pain with sex then obviously you won't feel like it. There are many causes for pain, including infections and some of the things you mentioned. The only way to know is for your doctor to assess you and make a diagnosis.

Q: Abdominal pain during sex

I have started having abdominal pain during sex, I cannot even enjoy. It has happened the second time during intercourse. Do I need to be worried, see a doctor? What could it be? I discussed it with my partner but he does not have a clue why is happening.

Expert

Pain during sexual intercourse is quite common amongst women. There could also be several reasons for it (vaginal infection / too early penetration / stress / emotional unhappiness resulting in the women having difficulty relaxing / too hard trusting of the male partner / swollen just before or after menstruation, not enough lubrication etc)– Furthermore the initial reason for the start of the pain could have been specific, but it is possible that the initial reason could have been resolved in the meantime, but the psychological anticipation of the pain could result in the muscles surrounding the sexual organs contracting and inhibiting relaxation and pleasure and enhancing the probability of pain. It is important to have a slow and gentle approach towards sex to ensure that both parties are relaxed; that there is enough lubrication and that penetration does not happen too early/quickly. Kegel - exercises – google it as these are specifically designed to guide the female towards gaining control over her PC muscles that will minimize pain. It might also be worth it for you and your partner to seek professional guidance in dealing with this in your relationship and enhancing your intimacy in a comfortable manner for both.

Q: Does my wife have vaginismus?

My wife seems to experience pain when I try to insert my penis into her vagina. I suspect vaginismus but she can use tampons freely, I have had fingers and even a banana inserted in there without any complaint. The problem only seems to arise during intercourse with me. Could it be vaginismus or some related condition? Please advise.

Expert

It can be vaginismus. It can be a psychological connotation with a penis or sex. Perhaps her upbringing was so conservative that she feels guilty. Discuss this with your doctor who can diagnose it.

(Picture: Unhappy couple in bed from Shutterstock)


Any questions? Ask our Sexologist and GynaeDoc

 

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