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Caring for cancer patients, whether they are relatives or not, can get quite harrowing for the caregivers.
Know the basics
If you are going to care for soneone who has cancer, you need to know your facts. There are so many different types of cancer that you need to update your knowledge on the particular type of cancer your patient or family member has. You need to know the symptoms of trouble, as well as details regarding pain medication and when to call the doctor.
Get the skills
Do a homecare course at your local Red Cross branch. If they don’t have them, find out where you can either do a course or get more information. The more you know, the less daunting your task will be and the more confident you will get.
Don’t take over completely
It is important that someone living with cancer should feel as independent as possible. As far as they are able, they should make decisions with regards to their own schedule, exercise and eating plan. You should be there to assist, not take full responsibility. It is important that the person you are caring for should take responsibility for themselves and their choices. If you take on too much, you will soon start suffering from burnout. It is a good idea to ask whether they want help with something rather than just doing it.
Lower the pain thresholds
Many people who have advanced forms of cancer are in pain. You as the caregiver need to have sufficient quantities of various painkillers at hand. The last thing you want is to run out at 3 am. Speak to the doctor and find out how these tablets work, what their side effects are and which should be given when. In this modern day and age, no one needs to suffer the pain which was always associated with cancer in the past.
Respect their privacy
You would not like someone barging in on you in the bathroom or on the toilet. Knock, and get into a habit of asking whether you can be of help with things like visits to the toilet, shaving, bathing, dressing and eating.
Learn to ask
Ask what the person wants for whom you are caring. Don’t always assume you know best. Say if you are uncertain about something and make an effort to find out the facts from people who do know. With the willing co-operation of your patient or family member, you can get so much further. Don’t get involved in a battle of the wills in which no one can win.
Boredom is a killer
Many bedridden patients say that boredom is their greatest problem. There is much that the caregiver can do to alleviate this. A television with remote control, the radio, books on tape and a video machine can go along way towards entertaining someone who is mostly confined to the home. Remember that an hour or two in the sunshine can also be very therapeutic.
Get connected
Get involved with the hospice in your area. This can provide support for both you and the person you are caring for. These organisations also sometimes provide relief caregivers, so you get to take a break. Hospices do take in people for short periods in order to give the families a break if they need it. Hospices also have regular meetings, at which people can learn new skills and socialise with others. Get involved.
Don't be evasive
Your patient probably knows that he or she is dying. Don't deny it. All you will do, is to make the person feel alienated. If you are having difficulty dealing with the issue of death, get in touch with the local hospice, who will assign a counsellor to help you and your patient out.
Essentials within arm’s length
There should always be water, tissues, towels, an extra blanket or two, a bin and a radio within reach. This would also mean you would not have to run all the time, especially at night. It is also a good idea to choose a room with a bathroom close by, if possible.
Don’t be a one-man-band
Involve the person you are caring for as much as possible in day-to-day tasks. It is disempowering for someone to not be given the opportunity to do the things which they are able to do.
Choosing good food
Listen to what the person you are caring for wants. Remember that lots of fluids need to be taken, especially if strong painkillers are being used on an ongoing basis. High-fat foods should generally be avoided. Lots of fruit and vegetables and wholegrain wheats and low-fat protein should be included in the diet. Fish is particularly recommended, as it is very nutritious. Meal supplements are available from chemists if the patient or family member you are caring for, has difficulty eating. Discuss this with your doctor.
Spic and span
Keep the house clean to keep your own morale up and that of the person you are caring for. Draw the curtains, put attractive pictures on the wall, put in one or two comfortable chairs in the bedroom and keep some books and magazines next to the bed.
Be a good listener
Sometimes your patient or relative might just need someone to listen who does not feel that they have to fix things. Just being there is sometimes the best thing you can do. You don’t always have to find solutions – acknowledging the feelings of the person confiding in you, is enough. If you feel you constantly have to fix everything, you will no longer be confided in.
Get a move on to avoid bedsores
These can be really problematic for someone who is bedridden. Cancer patients also have often lost much weight, adding to this problem. Be alert to areas like hips and elbows that become red and chapped because they press down on the bed. A sheepskin cover on the mattress will go a long way to avoiding chafing and bedsores. Massages also alleviate bedsores.
Do touch
Don’t be scared to touch the person you are caring for. Touch is important. Social contact is also important. Make it possible for friends to come over and visit. Encourage this as much as possible.
Breathe in, breathe out
If someone has difficulty breathing, help them to sit up as it is much easier to breathe in this position. It may help to raise the head of the bed if you can, or to prop the person up with pillows. If breathing difficulty is severe, a doctor should be called.
Bed aerobics
There are exercises that can be done even in bed.This obviously depends on the indoividual patient’s state of health. These are called ‘range of motion’ exercises and involve simple arm, foot, hand and leg exercises. These can help to prevent stiff joints and can improve the circulation, both of which can become a problem to those who spend much time in bed.
Keep contact with other caregivers
Speak regularly to the doctor, nurse or social worker who is dealing with the person you will be taking care of. You need to find out what you can do to help. Get written instructions about medication and ask for advice regarding diet and routine. Also find out when you should call the doctor.
If dementia sets in
There are a few types of cancer where dementia can set in, in the final stages. This poses a special challenge for the caregiver. To make things easier for the patient, always keep important things in the same place. Put a clock and a calendar in the room. Speak in short simple sentences. Don’t be afraid to be firm and do remove dangerous objects from reach. Once somebody becomes completely confused, loses bowel control or stops eating and drinking, it may be time to hospitalise the patient.
Keep your hands clean
Washing your hands with warm soapy water for at least 15 seconds is the best way to kill germs. Do this after going to the bathroom or before you start touching foodstuffs of any kind. Clean your nails properly. The last thing your patient needs is a bout of flu on top of everything else.
Show sick visitors the door
Don’t let anyone visit who has a cold or flu, or any other viral infection. The telephone is a good substitute if communication is essential. The last thing you want is that your patient gets chickenpox, TB or the flu. For this reason, you should also make sure you have had all your immunisations, lest you become the bearer of bad germs.
Glove yourself
For your own protection against infection, wear latex or vinyl gloves if you have to clean up blood or faeces. These should be worn to change diapers or sanitary pads or when you empty bedpans. (These should be disposed of in sealed plastic bags, not flushed.) Spilled blood should be cleaned up immediately and the cleaning cloths disposed of. Wash the area with bleach and water.
Who cares for the caregiver?
You need a break – preferably a regular one. Get a friend to take over from you for a few hours, so that you can go out and take a break. You cannot carry on indefinitely caring for others without in some way being cared for yourself. Meet a friend, see a movie, go for a walk or join a book club. Watch out for signs of depression in yourself. This is a taxing situation, and especially if you are caring for a relative, it could get quite harrowing.
(Susan Erasmus, Health24)
