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New kid in a new school?

Going to a new school is always a scary experience. There you were, with friends and teachers that you knew, sports teams you enjoyed playing in and then your father got transferred to Boksburg. And you had no say in the matter.

And now you are in an unfamiliar uniform, in a new school, with no friends, and frankly, feeling utterly terrified.

So how on earth do you get through th e first few weeks of this?

Find an ally. Chances are you will not be the only new child in the class or in the school. Team up with the other new kid on the block – at least for the time being, it will be someone to talk to.

Don't attract attention. Don't try out an exotic new hairstyle the week before school starts. Make sure you have the standard uniform. It is not a good idea to stand out from the crowd on the first day, because you're the only one wearing yellow socks instead of the regulation purple.

Don't be scared to ask. If you don't know where the toilet or the science lab or the tuckshop is, for heaven's sake, ask. There is no point in aimlessly wandering about in search of what you are looking for.

Keep a low profile. Don't behave in any way that might attract negative attention to you. Don't try and be a Smart Alec – it is best not to answer any questions in class voluntarily for at least the first two weeks, otherwise the others will think you are trying to show them up. Even if you do know more than they do, don't advertise the fact – it will make you unpopular.

Forget about your old school. There is nothing that irritates others so badly as someone who keeps on harping on about how things were done differently at their last school and how much better it was there – that was then, this is now. Tough, but just deal with it.

Take money or lunch. This is a stressful time and you'll probably be starving by noon. Take or buy a sandwich and some fruit to help you get through the day.

Accept that change is difficult. It is likely that in the beginning you will feel miserable and desperately miss your old school and old teachers – well, some of them anyway. But if you can get through the first few weeks, things will get easier.

First-day friends. The people you make contact with on day one might not be your friends in the long term. Give yourself at least a month to check the lie of the land. You will find like-minded people, but it may take a while. Be friendly to everyone, but don't be impatient.

Stick to the rules. Find out what they are and stick to them. These rules are usually there for a reason and even if the other students don't all agree with them, criticising the rules will make them feel as if you are criticising them.

Subject savvy. Choose your subjects carefully – it could influence the rest of your life. And no, it is not a good idea to choose Criminology as a subject just because the cute blonde is doing it. See the Guidance counsellor if you need help and advice. And remember, if you make a wrong choice, it is usually not cast in stone –most schools will allow you to change within the first two weeks.

(Susan Erasmus, Health24, updated January 2009)

(Susan Erasmus worked as a school counsellor for several years.)
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