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Partners
When it comes to a healthy sex life, the importance of creating a sensual space cannot be overemphasised.
When you take the time to create a special space for you and your partner, what you’re saying is that you're important to me, we are important, we matter, what we have is special, what we share means enough to us, or me, to make what we do special and different. We separate it from other activities. You affirm your love, your caring, your excitement, your arousal. You keep love and romance alive. You keep your partner feeling special.
How do you create this space?
It’s not very difficult to do, yet it can be very simple or complex.
The first step is to change the lights in the room. Light a candle, light 100 candles. Cover the lamps with coloured cloths; change the colours of the globes. If you like incense, light a stick or two.
Music is very important for some experiences. Steer clear of music with words. Why? Because you’ll sing the songs in your head, which means you’re not present. Choose music that would typically be used for massage, yoga, relaxation etc.
Make sure the room is warm. If you’re not warm you can’t relax and let go.
Get snacks, water, chocolates, wine or fruit. Have lots of pillows, blankets, lubricant, toys, and towels, whatever you think you’ll need for the experience.
Planning
Plan these times. This doesn’t take away the excitement and it certainly doesn’t mean that every time you have sex this is what you should do. Don’t ever stop those wonderful quickies and spontaneous moments of fooling around.
These experiences are different and special. In fact, when you plan them, they can be even more exciting because you’re thinking about it all day, planning, dreaming about it, getting excited.
Solo pleasure
This idea isn't limited to those in a relationship. A sexual or sensual exploration or self-pleasuring session can be made more special and meaningful by creating the space for yourself. By doing this you say that you’re important, you matter.
Remember that you're a sexual and sensual being in your own right, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not.
- (Jonti Searll, sensualist)
