Updated 06 November 2015

Handy tips for first-timers

Why do people use sex toys? And are there steps you should follow if you use one for the first time?


People offer many different reasons for adding sex toys to their sexual repertoire. These include:

- To discover or increase the ability to orgasm

- To experiment with a wide variety of shapes, sizes and colours, and to try different levels or kinds of stimulation

- To complement or enhance fantasies

- To spark communication with their partners

- Because sex toys do things people can't: revolve, vibrate, bend and twirl

- Not having a sexual partner

- Because sex toys are the ultimate in safer sex

- Because sex toys don't replace partner sex - they enhance it

- Because they're fun, as toys should be!

New to toys?
Try a few of these suggestions to make your first experience memorable!

Relax. Don't worry about what you should or shouldn't be doing with your toy, or whether you're doing it right. Experiment; try using it all over your body and see what feels good.

Go solo. Play with your toy alone before introducing it into couple's play, this way you learn what feels good and can show your partner.

Try one toy that does several things. Instead of committing to one type of toy, try a toy that vibrates and is insertable, or one that can be used in a harness and for anal stimulation. You might find that you really like to use a G-spot vibrator for stimulating your nipples.

Start small. When buying a toy for insertion, it's better to err on the small side. If it's too big you probably won't play with it, but a toy that's a little too small can still bring hours of enjoyment.

Use lube. Lubricant makes everything more slippery, and will undoubtedly make any sex toy experience more enjoyable. A toy that feels too big or vibrates too strongly might feel just right with the addition of a little lube.

Be realistic. A sex toy might not save your marriage, or be a surefire orgasm machine - but they are a fun way to expand your sexual repertoire and learn more about your body and your pleasure potential.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. If one sex toy doesn't thrill you, use that experience to decide what you do want the next time around: different size, stronger vibration, softer material. Testing several different toys is the best way to find what works.

Using resources books and videos can be a great way to learn how to incorporate toys into your sex play.

Image: Woman holding sex toy from Shutterstock



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