How can I change my miserable
I’m pregnant with my fourth child and I’m living with my
My life is miserable because I work like a slave before and
after going to work. I also have to cook for my father-in-law because my
mother-in-law works overseas. I’m working so I can support myself and my kids
because my husband doesn’t.
I really need someone
to talk to because I have no one. My husband shouts at me, calls me names and
even hits me. I’m too scared to leave him because I don’t have a house. Please
It hurts and is emotionally draining when you continue to
bend yourself backwards for your family and all your efforts go unappreciated.
Your husband, as your partner and the father of your
children, should help you and make the load a bit easier for you. He certainly
should not be part of the problem. Clearly he doesn’t appreciate you and what
you do. Instead of supporting you he’s abusing you physically and emotionally.
The bottom line is that you can’t continue living this way.
Just because you don’t have a house doesn’t mean you should continue to subject
yourself to all this abuse. Besides, this environment isn’t suitable for
It’s time for you to
involve his family and yours – speak to them and try to get this sorted out. If
all else fails you can go to your nearest domestic violence court for help. You
need to take action – before something worse happens – for both your own and
your children’s sake.
Am I being selfish?
I’m a 25-year-old woman with a well-earning job. I’ve worked
hard for this but now everyone wants a bit of me – my boyfriend, my family and
my friends. I know I have responsibilities but I would just like to enjoy my
life for a while and do things for me. Is this wrong? Am I just being mean and
selfish? JS, SMS
No, you’re not being mean and selfish. You’re simply looking
out for number one. You’ve worked hard to get to where you are and you should
have the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of your labour without any guilt or
shame. Remember, you can’t expect to make other people happy if you’re unhappy.
Your partner and family need to understand that you’ll honour your
responsibilities towards them in time. Just make sure you don’t alienate them
completely as they’re an important part of your life. You’ll find that when the
chips are down it is family and friends who are your first point of support.
Although you’re not obligated to them in any way, you can assure them that you
will find a way to assist them if there’s a need.