Updated 24 March 2014

Want a second date?

When you've gone through your entire book collection and overnight flights no longer excite you, perhaps it's time to settle down.


You're funny, you groom yourself well and keep up a pretty decent conversation but that's where it stays. Where could you be going wrong?

Welcome to the land of sexual pitfalls – that place you don’t learn about in Matric Geography. Here’s a brief guide to avoiding those disasters. Who knows, you might even get a second date?

Sexual pitfalls on a first date

Kissing with your eyes open. This makes whoever you are kissing feel like Exhibit A in a courtroom, or like something being dissected in a laboratory.

Staring at your partner’s body. Doing this clearly reveals to your date what this evening is about for you. And it is not about their bad day at work or the current world anthrax crisis.

Telling your partner everything. So whatever happened to mystery and suspense? Don' reveal too much in the beginning.

Viciously criticising your previous partner. This says more about you than your previous partner. Whoever you are with, will assume that on your next date you will be talking about him or her.

Behaving like a runaway train. OK, you have kissed, but that is not a reason to let your hands grope around in desperate fashion. Remember, desperation is an ugly thing.

Not showing enough interest in your date. Keeping the conversation flowing doesn't mean you have to talk about yourself all night. This conveys a lack of interest in your date and is a complete sexual turnoff for most people. They might be polite enough to listen, but they will have one eye on the clock.

Suggesting anything out of the ordinary in bed. Even if things went this far, it does not mean that you have carte blanche to suggest something unusual. You don’t know this person or their tastes and you might have misread them completely.

Keeping the lights in the bedroom on. Most people will find this a distinct turnoff – a bit like having to have sex in public. Very few people feel 100 percent satisfied with their bodies and won’t like being under the spotlight.

Assuming that contraception's not your problem. This shows a lack of consideration on your part and if your date has any insight, he or she will hit the road.

Rushing through sex. This also shows a lack of consideration. This can be construed as being very selfish and if this is a sign of how you expect things to be in the future, you are likely to spend the future alone.

Assuming sex is on the menu. Very often this is not the case and making this assumption, could spoil all your chances.

(Susan Erasmus, updated by Health24 March 2014.)

(Picture: Couple on a date from Shutterstock)


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