Updated 26 September 2013

Prevent a first date fiasco

Tonight’s the night. That all-important date looms and you really would like it to lead to a second date. But how?


Tonight’s the night. That all-important date looms and you really would like it to lead to a second date. But how?

Sometimes when you meet a new person, you instinctively know that they are still going to play a big role in your life. Almost as if you have sixth sense. Sometimes you are right and other times, much to your relief, you are wrong.

Tips for that all-important first date

Time is of the essence. There is nothing that scuttles a date quite like making your date wait for you for an agonizing half hour, all dressed up and not sure if she/he’s going anywhere.

Dress for success. Make sure you are dressed correctly for the place you are going to. Jeans will not be acceptable for a smart restaurant, neither will sequins for a beach party. It is already an uncomfortable situation, so it is important that your clothing doesn’t add to the discomfort. And no, this is not the evening to make a fashion statement.

Phone and confirm. It is always a comforting thing to do to phone on the day to confirm your date. This way your date also can’t pretend to have forgotten.

Cash is king. On the first date, the man usually pays for everything. That can make quite a dent in your bank balance. It is also not a good idea for a woman to simply accept that it is acceptable to take no money at all. You don’t want to be caught unawares on a first date. And who knows, maybe the evening is so grim that you want to take a taxi home halfway through the evening.

Laugh and listen. Ask about the other person and listen carefully to what they say. Don’t forget the wonderful role humour can play in lightening the mood of the evening. Unless of course you laugh uproariously at something they tell you which wasn’t meant to be funny.

Joint decisions. Decide beforehand where you want to go. If you decide on a steakhouse, your partner might just be vegetarian. Or you decide on a movie the other person has already seen twice. Or you plan to go to a music concert and he has an ear infection.

Moaning Minny. Just don’t go there. The evening is not a free-for-all opportunity to moan. Someone who moans incessantly the whole evening, will not be considered for a second date. No one wants to get involved with anyone who has more problems than they do.

Running smoothly. Make sure that your car is clean, in good working order and full of petrol for the evening. The same goes if you borrow someone else’s car. The last thing you want to do is to have to display your possible lack of knowledge about what goes on under the bonnet of a car.

Trashing the ex. Don’t discuss previous partners. This creates the impression that you are still fixated on this person and certainly not ready for a new relationship.

Stepping right in it. Under no circumstances should you make any comments that create the impression that you have any longterm expectations resulting from this evening. Nothing makes people hit the road faster than thinly veiled hints about children and furniture.

Don’t sleep over. This is mostly not a good idea, no matter how well the evening progressed. If you do leap into the sack, it creates the impression that one-night stands are nothing unusual for you and that this was not a particularly special evening. It is usually better to wait, as it increases the chances of there being a second date.


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