#Trending columnist Jade Zwane’s candid, no-holds-barred way of talking about sex has made her a reader favourite. Here she answers questions from City Press readers:
Question: I’ve been with the same partner for almost a decade and I’m looking for ways to spice up our relationship. To help, we’ve been watching some pornography, which has made me curious about women who can squirt. I’ve not witnessed something like that in real life and have only experienced drenched sheets. Is it really possible for women to squirt? If so, how can I learn to?
Jade: The portrayal of squirting in porn is often exaggerated. Your drenched sheets are a sign that you’re squirting, just not in the same way as in pornography films.
Does it feel good just before you wet the sheets? What you can do is, after intercourse and wetting the bed sheets, you can have your partner use his fingers to stimulate your vaginal canal and see if you squirt.
Having his penis inside you while you squirt can redirect your ejaculation to the sheets, instead of up like in porn.
Question: I’ve been dealing with erectile dysfunction and have no idea why or what to do about it. I smoke cigarettes and dagga, and eat a lot of junk food. I don’t know for sure if it’s any of those or if it’s mental. Could masturbating also be the reason?
Jade: Is your erection any stronger when you masturbate? How old are you? Do you take any supplements that could be affecting the strength of your erection? It could be that you get yourself into a state of panic or it could be your lifestyle. Cut down on the smokes and quit the cannabis. Eat healthier food and try to add light exercise to your routine.
Most importantly, relax when you’re with your partner. If there is no improvement after a month to six weeks, consult your medical practitioner.
Question: I’ve been with my husband for 22 years and we’re happy in most aspects of our relationship. The only issue is that, after all these years, we don’t have much sex. It doesn’t matter what we do, sex is always painful. My husband gives good oral sex and I can orgasm from it, but when it comes to him penetrating me, it becomes too painful. What can I do?
Jade: I’m glad that you’re able to climax during oral sex – that’s a great start. There’s a condition called vaginismus, where a woman experiences pain during penetration, when using tampons or even when consulting the gynaecologist for a pap smear.
Sometimes it can be psychological, which means talking through your subconscious fears with a therapist may help. That said, it could also be physical. I suggest you consult your doctor to determine a way forward.
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