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Need information on matters sexual? It’s everywhere – on TV, in magazines, in the movies, in casual conversations. Problem is, most of it’s rubbish.
Hollywood, Hustler and the writers like the two JCs - Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins - have created expectations of pyrotechnic, reckless and utterly unrealistic sex. Remember these basics and you’ll be okay. Okay?
- Don’t use sex as a tool to prove something to yourself, your friends, or your partner. It should be enjoyed for its own sake, or not at all.
- No glove, no love. Never have sex without a condom unless you’re 100% sure that you’re safe. This prevents STIs, including HIV too, and pregnancy. Realistically, the only way you can be sure of your partner’s fidelity is in the Blue Lagoon scenario – if you both grew up alone on a tropical island and have never indulged in risky behaviour with anyone.
- Never let anyone manipulate you into doing something with which you don’t feel comfortable. Tomorrow that person may be gone and you’ll be left to deal with your feelings on your own;
- If someone says no, accept it and move on. Accept that they really mean it and aren’t just playing hard to get.
- Your sex life is private. Discussing it with friends reveals a lack of respect for your sexual partner.
- If you can’t discuss sexual needs and contraception with your partner, the two of you aren’t ready to have a sexual relationship.
- Make sure you and your partner attach the same kind of feelings to an encounter. If one person sees it as a casual encounter and the other as the start of a long and serious relationship, problems are looming.
