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14 February 2011

Friends who live in the computer

Tertia Albertyn is a recovering infertile and now mother to twins conceived on her 9th IVF. In the first extract from her book So Close, she finds solace and friends online.

I can feel myself getting more and more insular, more obsessed. I can think of nothing else. The yearning for a child is consuming me; it is all I do, all I think about. Suddenly the big world outside is fraught with potential for hurt – pregnant women and babies are everywhere, all daily reminders of my failing.

Infertility bulletin boards are the coffee shops of cyber space. It's a place where you can hang out with like-minded people, people in the same boat as you. These people get where you're at. They can relate. They understand your pain. Suddenly you feel less lonely, less alone. You have a fabulous time bonding with your new best friends, swearing undying love and friendship for one another and forming little friendship groups. You laugh, you commiserate, you virtually hold one another’s hands. It’s you and your cyber friends against the rest of the world and all you want to do is spend every possible moment with your new family – the ones who understand, the ones just like you: infertile.

 
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