03 March 2010

I loved you, I hate you!

Divorces and break-ups are dog-eat-dog – and it’s the kids who get chewed up in the middle.

A visit to Parent24’s forums will leave you in no doubt that parents are very emotional about divorce, access to their children and the payment of maintenance.

Men’s angry voices

Many of the forum users who post are clearly infuriated with ex-spouses who they feel are ‘milking’ them. They don’t feel that their maintenance money is spent correctly, and they resent being asked for additional money.

‘I don't think an ex-husband is going to be telling his ex-wife how much he earns... not if he's got an I.Q. in double-digits, that is... ‘says one Guest on an informal Maintenance Survey discussion.

 ‘...screw your wife, pay your kids school fees buy their clothes give them a little pocket money and let your wife sort her own mess out,’ says a user simply calling himself The Man, adding to a discussion on How much alimony is enough.

Angry women’s voices

Women are equally angry, many of them feeling that their exes are not stepping up and taking responsibility as they should.

‘But I will NOT let the sh1t get away with it,’ says another Maintenance Survey Guest, who has. ‘I will chase him to his grave because it's about the PRINCIPLE !’

 ‘Just to clarify what you are saying is that mothers don't get to have lives but the fathers can do what they feel like - well sorry for you - we do!!!!!!’ says a Guest, adding to a discussion on the right procedure for cancelling a visit.

While it seems natural that anger and misunderstandings would follow a divorce, many of these sad situations seem to drag on for years and years, meaning both parents – and the children – are stuck in this negative whirlpool.

Have you managed to get through your divorce and find a positive way to share your parenting duties?  If not, ask Health24's Divorce expert and the Family Law Expert for their practical advice.

Read more:

Getting divorced?  Soften the blow for your kids

Long-term effects of divorce on children


(Adele Hamilton, Parent24, March 2010)




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