Updated 12 August 2018

'Can I have sex after a heart attack?'

City Press readers ask Jade Zwane candid questions about love, life and sex.

Reader: My boyfriend wants to have a threesome, but I don’t know if I’m ready. I’m all for having some fun with a girl, but I’m the jealous type, so I don’t know how I’d react if we actually went through with it. I don’t want him to see the other girl again after it’s over, and he says he’s okay with a one-night stand situation, but I’m still nervous.

Jade: If you’re not sure, then don’t do it. Tell your boyfriend that you don’t like or feel comfortable with the idea. If you do decide to have a threesome, set boundaries. Say how far he’s allowed to go with the other woman when it comes to oral sex, penetration and so on. And remember to use protection. Your feelings of jealousy at the idea of your boyfriend being with someone else are normal. I suggest you do it on a getaway, away from home and all refrain from exchanging numbers and you must be the one to pick the third.

Reader: I am 55 years old and had a heart attack six months ago. I am now well and back at work with no chest pain. I would like to go back to having sex with my wife, as we had a good sex life before I was ill. But my wife is frightened it will bring on another heart attack. Will this happen and if not, how do I convince her?
Jade: I’m glad you are feeling and doing better. There is no causal link between sex and heart conditions. Your doctor has your full medical history so consult your doctor and perhaps take your wife along and have your doctor reassure her of your health. It’s natural for her to be fearful because she cares about you and your well-being. Ultimately it should be your doctor that should have the final say about whether they believe you would be in a condition to have sex again.

Reader: I’m 18 and have never had sex before. Recently I tried to have sex with my new girlfriend, but I went soft before I got in. She laughed at me and when I tried again the following night and another night thereafter, I couldn’t even get hard. What’s wrong with me? I am worried that something serious had happened to me, but when I tried masturbating, that was fine. What can I do?
Jade: It sounds like nerves to me since you are able to maintain an erection during masturbation. Try and relax. Your girlfriend laughing at you must have been a stab to your confidence and it certainly didn’t help matters. You are young, try to relax and develop a confidence in your sexual capabilities. And most important, remember to use protection.

Do you have a question for Jade? SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email us at SMSes cost R1.50




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