Childhood Diseases

Posted by: Samantha Joseph | 2011/01/13


Troublesome 3 year old


My daughter turns 3 shortly and I''m in urgent need of assistance. Her tantrums are getting worse with little of remorse for her bad behaviour. I have tried the naughty corner, removing priviledges, even ignoring her until she shows signs of acceptable behaviour. She is very strong willed and will never say sorry for misbehaving. I''ve tried expaining to her that her behaviour is unacceptable and that she will not get what she wants but this only intensifies the tantrum. She has been successful potting trained and has many months of dry nights until about 2 weeks ago, wehn she starting wetting the bed. Last night was the 5th incident in 2 weeks.

There are numerous factors that I have taken into consideration such as:

A new sister (baby is 6 months) old
Our moving house
Her starting in a new class at school
My return to work after 6 months of maternity leave

My concern is that she is still quite young to convey what she is feeling and was wondering what do I need to do to help my daughter, who is a very loving and active girl, cope with all that is happening in our lives currently.

Any helpful comments or suggestions are welcomd.

Yours sincerely,

A Concerned mummy.

Expert's Reply



This is an excellent question and so well set out. You have pinpointed more than enough reasons for your daughter's difficult behaviour. She is a bit 'old' for temper tantrums now so this is evidence of rather babyish and regressive behaviour probably as a result of some attention seeking with her new sister.Moving homes is very traumatic for this age group and is a strong contributing factor. You have tried all the usual methods to try to control her tantrums with no success.Of interest is that she shows no remorse for her behaviour. It would be best to consult a child psychologist for advice as I am concerned that 'time outs' will only aggravate her behaviour.

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user comments


Posted by: R | 2011/01/14

Please see my response on Cybershrink

Reply to R
Posted by: purple | 2011/01/13

Three year old''s don''tt express themselveS that well and with so much going on in her little life she is probably showing her distress in the only way she knows how.

Try positive reinforcement when you catch her being good. I deal with tantrums the same way as you and it does take a long time to work, but being consistent with it and persevering does pay off.

Can you also perhaps get a baby sitter for your little one and spend some special time alone with her some saturday''s?

She will only really be able to be sorry from about four or five and at this age willl not really understand. You can try to teach her to starty saying it but it will be a long time before she understands what you are on about.

Hang in there, it really will get better.

Reply to purple

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