Posted by: Gail | 2009/10/02


toddler tantrums

My 2 year old grandson has the most terrible tantrums.
He screams and cries for no reason and this can sometimes last for more than an hour. He has to vomit before he stops crying. We are at our wits end as we do not know what to do.

Please help!!!!!!

Expert's Reply



This question comes up very often. Please look back on our site for advice regarding temper tantrums. The most important part of this advice is to walk away when he starts performing or put him into his room and close the door. He must have no audience. His mother must speak firmly but kindly when she wants him to stop doing something and must not plead with him. Each time he starts with the tantrum he must be placed in his room and must not be allowed out until he stops screaming and crying. He will soon stop.

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user comments


Posted by: Purple | 2009/10/05

In addition to removing him from polite company if he misbehaves and has a tantrum (I used to do exactly that with my son, and it cuts down significantly on the screaming and how long a tantrum lasts), there is also quite a bit you can do to avoid tantrums in the first place, though as it is age appropriate behaviour from about 10 months to four years, they won' t completely stop.

Start by ensuring his tummy is always full - so lots of healthy snacks inbetween his meals. Fruit and dried fruit work well.
Then, wherever possible, give him a choice - so hold out two shirts and let him choose which one he wants to wear.
A lot of tantrums also stem from not being able to explain what they mean, so if you can see frustration building, start asking him questions he can answer with a yes or no.
The other big tantrum contributor is tiredness. Make sure he has a regular bed time - around 7pm is a good time for toddlers. Have a bed time routine - supper, bath, teeth brushing, story and snuggle and then bed.
If he is still having day time naps, which most children at this age are, make sure he has his sleep at around the same time every day.
Another reason children have tantrums is to get attention, so ensure that when he is behaving well, he is getting lots of positive attention - someone is playing with him etc.

The book " Toddler Taming"  is extremely helpful with understanding where tantrums come from - which helps with preventing many of them, and with tips on dealing with them when they do happen. It' s got quite a bit of other useful advice too.

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