Childhood Diseases

Posted by: Hopeless Mom | 2010/01/28


Terrible Two' s

Please help me to understand my child. I am desperate. I have read so many magazines and books on how to deal with this stage but I am obviously doing something wrong. My son is two and a half and is throwing terrible tantrums. These tantrums always seem to be about his father. He does not want him out of his sight and my husband cannot go to the toilet without him throwing a tantrum. When my son is at home with me he is fine, we get along with our day and he is mostly well behaved and pleasant. He does get up to naughty things and tries his luck with me but situations are easily dissolved and we have a good time. I dread my husband walking in the door after work because that is when everything falls apart. When his father is around he wants nothing to do with me, I cannot touch him and he will throw a tantrum. If my husband is out of his sight he throws a tantrum. My poor husband has to do everything for him from bathing to feeding to changing. If I try and get involved he throws a tantrum. I feel like I am doing something very wrong as his mother and the rejection upsets me. He wakes up during the night as well and if I walk into his room he goes hysterical and only my husband can console him. Please, I don' t know what is going on. I do my best as a mother and I know I am not perfect but I do believe I take good care of my son, I play with him, I allow him to help me with chores and we chat all day. My husband is also a good father and very involved in his upbringing. He is also a fun dad and they play together all the time. We have a happy home and my husband and I have a good relationship and if we do argue it is not in front of my son. My husband does not travel and does not work late hours. On the weekends we are always doing things as a family. I really do not know where this behavior is coming from but it is becoming a problem.
Please can you point me in the right direction as to how we can resolve this problem. I am really desperate.

Expert's Reply



This is very common behaviour at your son's age;as you say it is the 'terrible two's' You sound like a very happy family. This little fellow likes an audience and the way to deal with his constant tantrums is to walk out of the room when he starts with a tantrum. Your husband in particular must leave the room as well.Close the door and do not go into the room until he has stopped performing. Do this every single time he starts witha tantrum or put him in his own room and close the door.If he is in the bath when he strats with a tantrum take him out, dry him off and put him in his room and close the door.

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user comments


Posted by: R | 2010/01/28

Its just phases kids go through. Take comfort - they will outgrow this and grow up.
My 2.5 yr son prefers his father for some things and me for most things. But since his dads been away most of the time since he was born, I let dad show control now, as its been hard doing it on my own and he' s now home for the 1st time.
Its just their of way learning to pick and choose. Every little thing they do is a learning phase, I' ve learned to sometimes just back off, mostly because my son is very determined and independent. I think all kids this age are, but he still knows who' s in control.
Its hard not to get frustrated and throw a tantrum of your own, but it will pass. :)

Reply to R
Posted by: Mom1 | 2010/01/28

The exact opposite is happening with my 18 month old. He makes it impossible to do anything when i' m around but i hear he is a pleasure when i' m not there. I' ll be watching the responses to this as this can be tiring sometimes

Reply to Mom1

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