Posted by: NAT | 2004/11/11



Hi Doc AND everyone else,
My daughter is 22 months and Ifeel that now it's the time for me to go back to work and for my child to start mixing with other children. However, she is NOT interested. She likes going for a trial sessions as long as I am around. As soon as I leave, she cries so badly and would not stop at all, so I have to come back and get her.I know, that you might say that lot's of children cry at the beginning and then they get used to it, but this is not the case with us. On another hand, my daughter is such a happy confident girl. She loves children and play with them, But as long as someone from her family is around.
Please, advice me what do I do about it?

Expert's Reply



I do not have easy answers and other parents may advise as well. Often the best is to literally leave her for the morning without turning back. Most children will cry for the first few minutes and then slowly start playing again, especially if they realize that you are definitely not going to come back. You need to discuss the options with the nursery personel, but if you are fearful and emotional about leaving your child alone then she will definitely be aware of it and be afraid as well. It may help to ask your husband to drop her and for you to collect her later.

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user comments


Posted by: Pat | 2004/11/17

I had the same problem with my son.He stayed with his grandfather from 4 months until he was 2. He would cry and scream for a few minutes, but as soon as he starts playing with the other children he would forget about me. I used to phone the principal during the day to inquire how things are (just to feel better after leaving him in that state.) He is now in nursery school for 11 months and can't wait to go to school in the mornings.

Reply to Pat
Posted by: Purple | 2004/11/15

You could also try taking her and spending the morning with her once or twice, then on the third time, tell her you are going to the shop for an hour and will then be back. Be back exactly on time, do this once or twice, then go with her for half the morning and explain that you are leaving her ther for two hours and then coming back, arrive exactly on time, do this once or twice, and then explain to her that Dad will take her for the whole morning and that you will fetch her, ensure that for the first few times, you are the first mom there to collect. As she gets more used to the place she might start to be happier to be left.

If the nursery school actually phone you to collect her, then she must be crying for more than the few minutes which children normally do.

Good luck, its a really tough one.

Reply to Purple

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