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Childhood-diseases

Question
Posted by: EN | 2007/03/16

Q.

Crying it out and no sleep

My baby is 9 mths old. We decided to put her on a bedtime routine and put her to bed 1 hour earlier at night. We also decided to do some sleep training. She's not a bad sleeper but she will have about 3 restless nights a week waking up 3-4 times. I still feed her once at night - anywhere between 12 and 1. We thought that we can help her to sleep through quicker by doing sleep training. The first night we let her cry it out for 5 min and then go to her room to comfort her (not picking her up). I've ended up sitting next to her cot between 1 and 2 in the morning, she won't stop crying.
The second night was the same. She wants only me and her farther. Eventually I picker her up and comforted her and she fell asleep within a minute!
The third night (last night) was a disaster from the beginning. My husband bathed her and feeded her and when it was time for bed she went crazy! There was no way she would stop crying. When i went in her room she stopped but was still very upset. I was sitting with her from 8 to 10 and she was still awake. When i tried to leave the room, thinking that she was asleep, she starts to sream.
I'm aware of all the different methods you can use for sleep training but crying it out is not one of them. I've tried comforting her and not picking her up and it's so stressfull and emosionel.

I'm confused because she's a worse sleeper now than before we started doing the sleep training. I wish I never started this.

Please advise - anyone!

Expert's Reply

A.

Paediatrician

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11
user comments

C.

Posted by: Mimi | 2007/03/19

You may want to take her for a check-up and just ensure that she has a 100% bill of health before attempting any sleep training.

Reply to Mimi
Posted by: Jillybean | 2007/03/16

LOL - Yes indeed maybe we should leave some space forthe Paed's advice!! Anyway, nice chatting to you hope it all works out. Its like Mommy said everyone has different approaches, just remember follow your gut!

Keep well :-)

Reply to Jillybean
Posted by: EN | 2007/03/16

I also don't like her crying. But no matter what I do. If I sit next her, she will carry on crying. She wants to be held. So, I did pick her up last night and when she was asleep I tried to put her in her cot. Then, she woke up and started screaming again.
I will try and stick to my routine this weekend and I hope it gets better by Sunday otherwise I think I will wait until she;s older.
Hope the online Paeditrician will have some answers for me.

Reply to EN
Posted by: Jillybean | 2007/03/16

LOL - well it was a case of 3 months with numb bums and gettting some sleep or 3 months with alot of frustration and fighting and not getting any sleep at all! Out of desperation I chose the 1st one!

Shame you know EN, every child is different, maybe your little girl takes to it sooner because as you say she was not a bad sleeper before all this, we had a bit of seperations anxiety going on aswell ontop of all of this with our son so I guess it took longer. Some say take a "strict" aproach (sleep training), but I dont know after all they are still babies and letting them cry uncontrolably just wasnt working for me.

Reply to Jillybean
Posted by: Mommy | 2007/03/16

Remember all moms has different opinions on sleeping. My child is started sleeping through when he was 2 years old. I am a single mom and I did not train him. They like to be held when they are still babies. It is getting easier when they are older. Good Luck.

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: EN | 2007/03/16

Almost 3 mths! I don't know if i will be able to stick it out!

Reply to EN
Posted by: Jillybean | 2007/03/16

Knowing I was in for a long haul, I put a comfy chair right next to his cot, initially he refused to lie down, but every time he stood up or sat up I layd him down and like you patted him on his back and eventually I could just say " lie down" softly and persisted in doing so. About a week later he would stay down and lay awake watching me for a good hour. Then he used to fall asleep but woke himself up to check if I was still there - haha - in all for us it took about 2 and a half 3 months - but what a difference it has made! now like i said he falls asleep in 15 minutes and i dont hear him again until 6am.

Reply to Jillybean
Posted by: EN | 2007/03/16

How long did it take you before she slept better? Did you only sit there even though she was crying for you to pick her up?

Reply to EN
Posted by: Jillybean | 2007/03/16

Oh yes EN, you will initially sit there for very long periods, but I promise it gets shorter and easier!! This was a very exhausting road and demanded alot and I mean alot of patience but so worth it as he sleeps really well now. Oh and keep the bedroom door wide open with a light on in another room so that there is some form light coming into the room where she is sleeping.

Reply to Jillybean
Posted by: EN | 2007/03/16

No, it's not spoiling. That's exactly what i tried to do the second night. But I ended up sitting next to her cot with my hand on her shoulder for 2 hours! It seems like she won;t sleep unless i'm there!

Reply to EN
Posted by: Jillybean | 2007/03/16

Dear EN

Personally i didnt find that Sleep Training worked at all for my LO, and boy I was adiment to make a go of it as we were really strugglin aswell, sleep deprivasion is not fun. In actual fact it made it worse because by the time two or three hours have passed my LO was even more worked up and exhausted and found he struggled even more to fall asleep. But when he eventually fell asleep from shere exhaustion from the crying he kept waking up 4 or 5 times, which didnt help either. So what I did was I sat with him untill he fell asleep and kept re assuring him that I was there (which is probably not recommended) it went from about two hours in the beginning to until now 3 months later where he falls asleep within 15 mins because he is alot more relaxed by knowing we are there. Some would call it spoiling but I call it survival :-)

Reply to Jillybean

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