Posted by: Gisela | 2005/11/23


Controlled Crying? Sleep issues??

Could anyone please advise on the controlled crying thing. Is it bad or good? How to do it?? We have tried everything else as well for our boy (21 months) but he will not sleep right through the night. His routine at the moment is - bath at 5pm, eat dinner at 6pm, drink a full bottle of cows milk at 7:15 and we put him down at 7:30 pm - then he normally wakes either at 11:00pm for some more milk, or at 00:30 am and then maybe again at 4 am - i am desperate for help,. Is this routine before bedtime right? What can we do - i work fulltime and leave home for work at 06:30 in the morning....i am ssoooooo tired? PLEASE HELP!!!!!

Expert's Reply



I am not familiar with this. Perhaps one of our forum regulars will assist.

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user comments


Posted by: Mary | 2005/11/25


This is just an opinion - but I agree with mommy. Not to say that I never let my 4 month old cry. However, I think due to me meeting my baby's needs immediately I now have a baby that does not cry unless she is hungry, nappy needs changing, she is tired or she just wants some company.

To each his own - Gisela I hope that whatever you do works and you get the sleep you need. The other alternative is to perhaps get your husband to do one of the shifts so that you can get a bit more sleep. A friend of mine used to express milk when she was breastfeeding right from birth and her husband used to take the 10pm sleep so that the mommy could get some sleep. Perhaps self-calming is what you little one needs to do - as I am sure there must be a better method than the little one having to literally cry itself to sleep.

Milk - I commend you on coping with twins - it must really be hard, I know how demanding on time my little one was.

Keep well and again Gisela, good luck!

Reply to Mary
Posted by: Mommy | 2005/11/24

All I can say is: I would never do this to my small baby!!!!! I've read that although they eventually learn to fall asleep without you comforting them, it can lead to other behaviour problems later in their lives.

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: Gis | 2005/11/24

Dear Milk

Thank you so much for the advise, I am starting this over the weekend, and will keep you posted. I know a habit is hard to break, but I have really reached a point where I am about to jump of a bridge because I can't cope anymore at work with so little sleep. You are a star, and really made me feel better about this. It is sometimes hard to find other parents with the same problems, as it always seems like other parents have it so easy - thank you again, and I will keep you posted.

Have a wonderful day - and think of me over the weekend....
Love Gis

Reply to Gis
Posted by: Milk | 2005/11/23

Hi Gisela,

I know how you feel. My twin boys (now 13 months) had the same problem until about a month ago when I did the controlled sleep training.

Our routine is as follows: Dinner 17h30, then play until about 19h15. I then bath them and immediately after bath give them their bottle and then it is straight to bed. They now know as soon as its bath time it is bed time and they go to bed without a peep.

Regarding the sleep training what I did (recommended by my paed) is: when they wake go in and say something like doodoo or shh shh and maybe give them a kiss on the forehead and leave. Dont pick them up or spend time in their room or have more interaction than just the shh shh. Leave them for 20 minutes and then go in and repeat until they fall asleep. She warned me they might scream until they vomit etc but do not give up. (if they vomit she told me ot just clean it up without saying anything and to just put them straight into bed again). it worked like a miracle for me. I was very against the crying but trust me it works. It took me only one / two nights to see a huge improvement. They cried for 20 minutes the 1st time and then only 5 minutes after that. It took a couiple of weeks to really get them to sleeping through but I never gave up . I ALWAYS followed the principal of letting them cry for 20 minutes before I go in.

Now I have 2 boys who sleep through every night and trust me we came from a bad place as well where I woke up 7/8 times a night and where they sometimes drank 3 bottles. I notices it was purely habit. In the first couple of days after not giving them bottles they were so thirsty when they woke up the finished a 250 ml bottle in minutes, now they have even cut down the amount they drink when they wake up. It is just a matter of breaking a bad habit.
Please let me know if anything is still unclear and all the best if you are going to give it a try.

Reply to Milk

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