This is an extremeley difficult question and not one I can answer in a few sentences. The most important thing is to develop a very strong and healthy bond with your children so that they will communicate freely with you. If you have reason to be suspicious and your child does show signs of developmental regression (eg. suddenly losing bowel control again etc) or emotional detachment, then it is best to have it formally evaluated by a child pschychologist. It can be extremely difficult to confirm, but the most important thing is focus on developing a close loving relationship with your child where he/she will feel secure enough to be honest with you.
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