Childhood Diseases

Posted by: Shelley | 2011/01/25


Behaviour problem - 7 yrs old

My son is 7, he goes to a remedial school, grade 1.
but his behavious is unacceptable, he is disrespectful to adults, takes things from his aftercare and tells the teahcer he didn''t. Even at home for example if theres water on the floor after his bath he says he didnt do it. How do you change this behaviour - Im scared he is going to be kicked out of aftercare and maybe school eventually.
Any one else who can give me advice - maybe in same situation and knows what I can try, please post a reply with your cell number and I will contact you, Id appreciate it
I have tried punishment, such as time out, taking away privillages, star chart with a black mark. its not working. He can not handle being shouted at - ears are sensitive. but I have serious talks with him and he says he understands that he is doing wrong. yet a day or two on he repeats the behaviour.

Expert's Reply



You are certainly having a difficult time with your son and you are correct,he will soon be asked to leave the aftercare if he does not improve.He seems to have very sensitive hearing which is sometimes found in children with the autism syndrome. More likely with your son is a psychological condition called Oppositional Defiant Disorder or ODD. You son really needs to be seen by a child psychologist as soon as possible so that a clear diagnosis can be made of his problem and treatment started.

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user comments


Posted by: Nini | 2011/01/25

Please feel free to post your question on the Parenting Forum - there are lots of ladies there than can offer you advice!!! We are all active ont eh forum most of the day, maybe someone can offer you helpful tips.

Reply to Nini
Posted by: Purple | 2011/01/25

Usually when a child this age denies something its to protect themselve s- no matter how obvious it is, so don''t say " did you splash water on the floor"  - you and he both know it was him, rather say " you have splashed water on the floor"  - there is no room for weaseling out of that.

It would be unlikely that a remedial school would expell a child for behavioural problems, some of the children are there precisely because of behavioural problems affecting their ability to learn.
Have you tried speaking to his teacher for some guidance?
Speaking to after care probably won''t help, in my experience, the people who run after cares are not trained to work with children and most of them shouldn''t be anywhere near children as they shout and insist children who are way too old for day time naps have 2 hour sleeps and so on, however, if they are a bit more sensible than the usual, it might help to get their advice and help too.

A star chart is for positive reinforcement, so putting black marks on it defeats the object - its meant for catching them doing things right.

As you are already trying the usual methods, have you considered seeing a psychologist for help?
Perhaps you aren''t being as consistent as is necessary or soemthing like that and they can help you find the way that will work for your child in particular.

There is also a wonderful programme called manners for minors that is run as a school extra mural and privately, I think they take children between about 3 and 7 or 8.
It covers the basics of good manners like respect for others and so on and then just does so much more like table manners and how to behave at a party, solving conflict with friends etc. It is a fantastic programme with reward charts and things the children earn for good behaviour and so on. It really reinforces what you are teaching at home. See if you can sign him up for that for a year. I sent my child on it and get compliments on his behaviour all the time now (I used to get the odd one before, but this made a huge difference), and the children love the programme - it is great fun.

Good luck.

Reply to Purple

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