Posted by: Nickola | 2019/04/17


The terrible twos (continue from previous question)

Reference to the previous question, and answer I got from you , about the terrible twos. She started day-care about 2 and a half weeks ago. This is when we noticed she has been having these frequent tantrums at home (only). She is completely fine at day-care, no such behavior was recorded. Only when she gets home, she turns into another child. And almost instantaneously something triggers her. We started to set new rules, and find ways to resolve this issue, and have started to just walk away , and leave her in her room and close the door. She does this thing were she slaps her face with both hands. This and hitting us is the only aggression we have noticed so far. So is this normal or does it call for a concern? She throws small short tantrums (although it doesnt seem short to us) every evening after picking her up from day-care. Our regime is pick her up, run her bath (which she throws tantrum for) and then attempt to change her - she screams as well this time. Then we make her a milk bottle , I take her to her room, and watch a cartoon for a while. She sometimes falls asleep, and sometimes she doesn`t. She sometimes runs out the room to play with something, or wants something that she isn`t allowed to have - like for example Coca cola (which I refuse to give her at any time of the day) My partner on the other hand, gives in., or she wants to go to the shop, and its late. Anyway almost every time , something frustrates her and she throws her tantrum. The screaming is just too much to handle , I have to put cotton wool in my ears sometimes, because its so loud. Again is this normal to have these outbursts every day? She only seems to behave better in school.

Expert's Reply


- 2019/04/18

If you read up about temper tantrums in young children on Google, you will see that children have different kinds of tantrums. In your daughter's case it is possible that going to the school is causing her to be insecure and she may be acting out due to separation anxiety. Does she scream and have tantrums on the weekends also or only on school days? She may simply be exhausted from the routine at school and also her deep-seated anxiety that you may not be there to fetch her when it is time to go home. You need to reassure her as much as possible that you will be there to fetch her when she comes out of school. Be firm with her about the temper tantrums or she will continue. She knows that she has a definite audience at the moment for each of her performances. Your partner must also be equally firm in dealing with the tantrums. This is usually a temporary problem. She can come out of her room immediately when she is quiet and you must just carry on from there as if nothing has happened. At this stage she is still too young to take her to a child psychologist. In the unlikely event that she is still having these tantrums when she is 3 years old it will be necessary to take her to be seen by a child psychologist.

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