Posted by: JJ | 2011/03/10



My 5 year old girl attends a montersori based school. She has been there for 3 years. 2 weeks ago I received a letter from the school asking me to take my daughter out the school due to complaints from parents. Apparently the other kids in my daughters class (3 of them told their parents that my daughter and another boy puls their pants down). My problem is this is the first I hear about it and I would put this to normal kids curiosity. My child comes from a good home. We have great morals. I feel that this whole situation has been handled inappropriatly and according to the school I would only have to take her out of the school for a week. According to the therapist (who is now seeing all 30 children) it can take up to 6 months. I am so angry . I want to know who can assist me on a legal basis. My husband and I have been very co-operative but would like to get the correct legal advice. Is there a board or legal institution that can assist me going forward?

Expert's Reply



This does indeed sound like it is simply due to children's natural curiosity.It may be best to ask the advice and opinion of a child psychologist.

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user comments


Posted by: JJ | 2011/03/10

Thank u! I am starting to think I am a bad mother. Trying to get to the bottom of this is tedious and I am worried how this will effect her. The main reason I want to seek legal advice as we think the exposure to this " behaviour"  they are referring to came from the school as the older kids also socialize with the younger kids. My question to the school is where is the supervision? They can''t answer me. So now my kid is being victimised for something because other kids talked but none of the adults or teachers saw anything.

Reply to JJ
Posted by: Purple | 2011/03/10

This is pretty normal behaviour at this age. The shocking thing is that the school doesn''t know this and are not managing it properly.
At my sons school when this started happening we all get a letter telling us about it, assuring us it was normal, asking us to speak with our children about it not being a " nice"  thing to do at school as our bodies are private and asking that we put them in plain underwear and not character underwear.
The school also spoke to the children in a group about their bodies and respect for their own and others bodies.

by the time kids get to about 6 or 7 they don''t do this anymore.

Doesn''t sound like its worth trying to reason with the princial as it sounds like the staff there are incompetent so do start looking for another school. Places like this give Montessori schools a bad name. Try phoning some lawyers till you find one willing to assist you.
You are right, as a first step, you should have been called in to discuss the matter - however, since the behaviour is perfectly normal surely there wasn''t even a need for that.

At 5 children are very curious about their own bodies and others. There isn''t anything sexual in an adult way about this. those bits are covered and they quite enjoy the way adults go red and won''t speak about things so nothing like a bit of shock value to get a reaction out of adults.

Good luck with the action you want to take and I hope you find another school where they hve some sort of understanding of normal childhood development.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Sara | 2011/03/10

I think it is shocking on the schools brhalf that this is the first you hear of it. I hope you get the advice you are looking for. Good Luck

Reply to Sara

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