Childhood Diseases

Posted by: Brian | 2008/10/05


3+ yr does not Listen

Hi there

We have a two girls aged 15mths &  3+ yrs.

The older one is at a stage where she just does not listen. It' s her way or nothing. She fights with her sister on and off, and demands what her sister has or throw tantrum.
She will also fight with my wife and myself.
I am personally battling to keep my emotions under tap, but her naughtiness, bratish behaviour does get to me.

We discipline by sending to the naughty corner, which at some times does not work. She gets a hiding when things are really bad but that too does not do anything.

She really thinks she is the only child in the house and it' s her way or the high way..

Please help to bring some control.


Expert's Reply



This is a classic case of sibling rivalry. Just when your older daughter thought that she was king of the castle, along came her baby sister.There are a number of ways of dealing with this problem, but giving her a hiding is not one of them. This will only make her feel more isolated and angry.Ignore as much of her bad behaviour as you can. Try to divert her attention when she starts to perform by showing her something interesting.Losing the audience has a positive effect usually so walk out of the room if she starts to perform.Don't rush in the minute she starts to fight and don't question her about who started any fight which may occur. When you intrevene be very decisve. Speak firmly and do not plead with her to stop. Just say 'Stop!' in a clear loud voice.If she does not listen immediately send her to her room and close the door. She is not to come out until she stops crying or stops her tantrum.

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user comments


Posted by: Mom | 2008/10/06

I recently saw a psychiatrist who was helping me deal with some issues, one of them being that my husband and I disagree on discpiline for my two year old son. One of the suggestions that she made when using a naughty spot or corner, is not to just let it end there, because it often doesnt allow a child realise why they are being punishedbecause they just sit there, and it doesnt allow them to find an outlet for the anger that they feel at that particular time, which if not addressed, can cause problems with anger management later on in life. She suggested that when he has done wrong, we tell him that he has done somthing wrong and therefore he must go to his room until he calmed down if he is crying, and while he is there he can read a book or whatever it is that he enjoyes doing, build a puzzle or play with a favourite toy, and then to tell him that when he feels better, he can come out and say sorry for what he has done. She says that this will be a form of punishment but it will also teach him to find a way of dealing with his anger constructively in any future situations. Its not always practical I found, but it certainly made sense to me from the anger management point of view

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