Firstly, I'm sorry that someone, I don't know who, has caused needless delays in putting your question to me, so I can answer it.
You raise so many important issues. You say you have "just started" on the antidepressant Lexamil. I wonder when that was. Antidepressants take at least 2 to 3 weeks to show their full effects, so one may well not notice such good effects earlier than that. PND, Post-Natal Depression, is well recognized and common, and does deserve proper treatment.
What you describe could well be symptoms of PND, which can include a loss of enjoyment of whatever you might ordinarily enjoy. Going without food and especially water is bad for you, and you need to treat food and water like medicine, as something you need to consume, whether you want to or not. This could be bad for you and for the baby.
As for your husband's comments, NOTHING is "just psychological". But the psychological components of all this are vitally important, and should receive attention and help. You need to arrange as soon a practical, to see a good local psychiatrist for assessment and a discussion of your treatment options, and should also see a psychologist, counsellor for counselling, to help you recover from this state, so that you and your child can move ahead with enjoying life together
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