Neither God nor Jesus would ever want you to harm yourself, much less to kill yourself. Valentine's Day is a cheesy commercial invention designed to persuade people to buy over-priced rubbish for someone they think they love. In fact, it's absolutely fine to be single, on Valentine's Day or any other day.
It sounds as though you really need to see a good counselor you can work with to properly understand the confusing bundle of feelings and fears bothering you now. They can be sorted out if you sincerely work with a counselor, and then you'd be free to bide your time and find close friends to enjoy spending time with, but not to be so desperately needy ( which scares off others ).
I have never ever heard of someone being kissed on the forehead, with this leaving them scarred for life ; not even the kiss of a vampire.
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