Sorry to hear of your loss. It's entirely normal to have mixed feeling after the loss of a loved one, especially so early in a bereavement. Grief is hard work, and takes time. Maybe especially if you over the years used sex, as many people do, as a source of comfort and a refuge from bad feelings, one might specially miss it now. Sometimes one focuses on one aspect of the loss as a way of NOT focusing on other even more emotionally painful aspects.
Grief usually includes a confusing mix of different feelings and regrets, It may even include what may seem like hallucinations, for instance, when you briefly see the person sitting in their usual place, or hear their car arrive in the driveway. The most difficult elements tend to reduce after 9 months or so, as gradually the sadder and most regretted aspects of the loss fade, to be replaced by memories of the positive and comforting aspects of the relationship.
Try not to rush into a new relationship, especially an emotional and/or sexual one : these usually fail, often painfully. Take the time to heal.
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