Sorry to hear about this. What you're describing, very effectively, sounds very much like a Depression, a common and nasty illness, which, fortunately, usually responds well to proper treatment.
Sadness is often but not always a part of it, but it's more than that. It's a sneaky illness, because we too easily blame ourselves for it's effects : irritability, difficulty in concentrating and coping, sleep problems ( difficulty in getting to sleep, and/or sleeping too much ), appetite problems ( eating too much or too little ), disturbed sexual function, and especially if anxiety is a major part of it ( as is often the case ) a racing mind, over-thinking and being under-productive for all the effort you're putting into your work. An often overlooked part is a loss of pleasure in whatever pleases you and turns you on.
The sneakiest part is not only the tendency to unfairly blame oneself, but a loss of hopefulness, a false but horribly convincing sense that nothing will or could come right.
There are various ways in which this can be helped, and I prefer a combined approach. Many doctors ( too man, I feel ) think only of using antidepressant drugs, These can be very useful indeed, but often its best that they not be the only method used. Counseling, especially a form called CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) can, as research has confirmed, be very helpful and not only helps you to gradually gain control of the situation and the illness, but to learn methods you can use in the future, to keep your mood in control.
Do return to the forum, as you wish, to let us know about your progress.
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