Wouldn't it be a good idea to persuade her to join you in couples counselling, to explore how, for the sake of your child and of each of you, you could heal the relationship ? I wonder whether in her first experience of counselling, her counsellor encouraged her to feel neglected without being properly specific as to what she wanted from you, or helping her to realize that you also had feelings and unmet emotional needs, so you could help each other.
Maybe if you could work together, with a more experienced counsellor, you could both achieve more.
It is important for counsellors to help us recognize that, for instance, that we cannot change the past, but we can valuably change how we interpret whatever happened in the past, and the conclusions we draw from past events. Some counsellors unhelpfully encourage people to embark on a career of seeing themselves as a victim, rather than as a survivor who has learned helpful lessons from bad experiences, and is able to move on to find a happier life.
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