Please, please, deal with this properly, by arranging to promptly see at least a good doctor, and as soon as practical, a good local psychiatrist, for a proper assessment of your condition and advice on how this can best be managed.
From the brief comments you make, it sounds to me as though it would be very important for you to be seen and helped by a clinical psychologist ( rather than relying only on medications ), able to offer CBT ( Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, a specific form of counselling ), which could greatly help you to take control of such situations, master your depression, and find practical and effective ways of dealing with everything that troubles you, including perhaps feeling lonely and socially awkward.
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