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Depression

Question
Posted by: TRACY | 2017/12/11

Q.

Abusive marriage

IM IN A MARRIAGE OF 10. ITS FULL OF ABUSE AND HURT AND PAIN. MY HUSBAND LOVES SEX AND IT ACTUALLY DRIFTED ME AWAY FROM MY MARRIAGE. IN RECENT WEEKS I FOUND COMFORT IN SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME. WE HAD THE BEST WEEKEND SEX. HE MADE ME FEEL SO GOOD AND LOVED. PROBLEM IS HES ALSO MARRIED.IM FEELING SO TRAPPED. I WANNA BE WITH HIM SO BAD BUT I KNOW WE CANT. I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.FEEL SO DEPRESSED

Expert's Reply

A.

Depression expert
- 2017/12/12

Hi Tracy.
I don't know what you mean by "a marriage of 10" : that sounds awfully crowded !  Do you perhaps mean a marriage of 10 months, or 10 years ?
Anyhow, you say your marriage contains much abuse, hurt and pain.  Then why not divorce your husband, who seems to love sex, but not you ? See a counsellor, get legal advice, and prepare to leave him and become independent again.
But why choose to have an affair with anyone, let alone a married man ? There's a strong chance he is exploiting and using you, recognizing that you are vulnerable because of the unhappiness in your marriage. Even very nasty men can seem loving and make you feel good, when they think this will get them the sexual affair they want. 
He is cheating on his wife : why would he treat you any better ? And why hurt her ? He may say his marriage is unhappy, but all married men planning an affair say that ; it doesn't mean it must be true. 
If you are an abused wife, then get help and leave your abuser.  Don't plunge into another relationship so quickly ; heal yourself and take it easy so the next relationship can be a lasting and happy one

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