Posted by: Lilly | 2009/02/12


Son born with ADHD!

It is pretty dificult raising my firstborn son. From birth he was almost unmanagable, but here we are today and he is turning 6 in 4 months time! He was diagnosed with ADHD more than a year ago and since then he' s taking Strattera, he' s on 40mg already. I feel like totally destroying something at times, he' s manners are killing me! My mother-in-law says it' s the " sickness" , but I' m tired of believing that it is... is it or is it just plain naughtyness? What means of discipline can I use to just get him to be obedient? I need help.... I' m on the verge of breaking down. My second son has no sign of ADHD and is as sweet as candy. How can only one be affected and not the other?

Expert's Reply


ADHD Expert

Dear Lilly,
Unfortunately we cannot yet answer why one sibling and not the other. Generally, primary caregivers react negatively to behaviours of children with ADHD, it becomes learnt that this is the only way to get attention. Have you considered using a reward chart? Sometimes by explaining what behaviour you would like to see and rewarding it when it is present, children modify their own way of behaving. Other children will react positively to physical rewards while others will prefer your time. It is important to teach him that the old way of doing things is no longer the way, by ignoring poor behaviours (difficult I know) he will soon give up on them.
Good luck!

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Posted by: Kate | 2009/03/03

Hi Lilly

I feel for you. My eldest son is 5 and is ADHD and ODD. My 4 year old is a dream child! I took my eldest to be assessed last year because I felt that we had been struggling for so long on our own (without professional help). When he was diagnosed I wasn' t surprised but felt very depressed about it as I thought people would see my child as having a ' sickness'  but I resigned myself to the fact that if my child had cancer, I would do everything possible to help him, if he had a reading disability, I woud do the same. So my child is ADHD and ODD! So what, it is not the end of the world.

So I basically set about parenting in a different manner. I have calmed down on the discipline and started loving my child more. Sometimes it feels difficult to love the ' naughty'  demanding child especially when the youngest is so easy to love. But I just hug him when he lets me and I tell him how much I love him and make a huge fuss of both of them when they do something good and clever. I see how he physically picks his shoulders up and smiles.

I found taking Biral really helped me to be calmer as it was all too easy for me to lose my temper and scream and shout. That has such a negative effect on my son but I felt so much pressure from everyone else to discpline my child and make him more social. Now I don' t apologise for my child' s behaviour (unless of course he hurts someone). I tell him what is right and what is unacceptable but I am definitely winning by being more positive towards him. I offer him small rewards like ' we will have pancakes this afternoon if you don' t fight with us this morning...'  it does seem to work. I also take away priviledges like his bicycyle and TV for bad behaviour.

He is taking 0.2ml of Risperdal at night. He also takes 5 mls of Melotone morning and night and I have started him on Biostrath 3 times a day. He also takes Viral Choice twice a day to keep his immune system strong.

He eats Omega 3 eggs at least 3 times a week and has very little sweets.

Best wishes and know you are not alone in this one!!

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