Posted by: San | 2018/12/06



My nephew is now 15yrs old. He was a brilliant pupil in primary school even with all the classic symptoms of ADHD: hyperactivity, inattention, mistakes, disruption, hyper-focus on favourite things, forgetfulness etc. Kids have always made fun of him & his forgetfulness, he was constantly shouted at by adults as well. At around 12yrs old, he started being irritated/bored/frustrated in class, walking out, not listening to teachers, not wanting to take down notes, having bad handwriting, talking back etc & the behaviour just continued. He was expelled because they couldn't handle him & his episodes of misbehaving. He was on meds on & off. He'd start a new school, the same would happen. Government schools for kids like him are always full. His parents can't afford private schools and can't afford the meds all the time. He's gotten expelled a few times for the aggression now. Both learners and teachers are now scared of him they say, at 15. So sad. He's a sweet boy at home, does the chores etc, but he's forgetful, but we all know his issues and we accept & love him. He was again expelled this year from a certain special school for the same behaviours, even though they'd accepted him at the beginning of the year, saying they'd handle him as they can deal with kids like him. Academically he's behind by about 3 years now as he hasn't been finishing an academic year since 12. They say he has learning disabilities, but at home & with friends he helps older kids with homework! He's better than them in certain subjects he likes. I believe he's behind academically and developmentally because learning frustrates him, not that he has a low IQ or something. Now he's older and taller than most kids he prefers to play with, he's a drop-out, can easily get frustrated and aggressive and has been kicked out of his favourite soccer team for ill discipline & aggression. The soccer had been the only thing left that he loves, since he got expelled from school. I don't want him to end up in jail or dead. He's not taking any substance but I'm scared he's so bored and unoccupied he can be lured into this life. Please, please help us. How do we fix this, before it's too late. What a loving, funny & talented boy he is to all at home. But what a monster some teachers and kids see him as sometimes. He couldn't help those angry & defiant episodes in school. It breaks my heart. I've just read about ADHD graduating to Conduct Disorder sometimes. Could it be it now? How can he be helped???

Expert's Reply


ADHD Expert
- 2018/12/07

It is crucial that your nephew be properly assessed for ADHD - and received optimal treatment for it (which would include medication AND therapy). He most likely have developed secondary complications (educational failure, poor self esteem, conduct problems...). He may also have developed a secondary depression. PLEASE do take him to consult a psychiatrist? It sounds that this is a boy with a lot of potential - but he needs the necessary treatment and support.

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