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08 August 2003

Emotional development in your forties

The forties are difficult times for most men. Many marriages fall apart under work strain or other pressures and stress and overwork become major issues. But men are also older and more able to cope with difficulties.

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The forties are usually very busy and highly-stressed times for most men. It is difficult to divide your time between a demanding career and family demands. And the family often contains some difficult teenagers, which doesn't help matters. And especially if you're in a managerial position at work, the stress mounts up.

This is the time to get financially secure and achieve your ambitions, but it also has its downside. And in many ways it is easier to do than when you are 25, because the forties are often the stage in life where people let go of the things, which hold them back. With age comes experience, acceptance, peace and wisdom.

But not in all cases, as the late forties often bring a midlife crisis, which can be a time of great emotional turmoil, for both you and your family.

If you are happily married, this may also be the time when you and your wife start having more time together, and can start doing many of the things you really enjoy, which have had to take a backseat for while during the time your main focus was on your children. It is also the age at which many men get divorced or remarried - both of which come with their attendant stresses and strains.

During these years, men often really come into their own – both on a personal and a professional level. This is also the time of accepting things which cannot be changed and to make peace with things that happened in your past, if you have not done so already. It is also a time of career pressure for many men, so time management skills and stress release mechanisms are very important. Regular exercise can do much for your state of mind. Get into the habit.

Explore your spiritualit. Spending half an hour in silence each day will benefit your mind and body. Spend some time barefoot in your garden, away from your computer and cellphone. Learn some deep breathing techniques.

 
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