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10 December 2003

Dad-to-be: 28 weeks

Be patient and gentle with your blimp and apply focused, sustained pressure.

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What’s going on:
With all the bits in place, the baby is now putting on weight.

How you’re feeling:
You may experience an encroaching paucity in your bedroom relationship at this stage. This is often because women feel their allure is at an all-time lure because they look like the MTN blimp. They might also be worried about being hurt or squashing you during lovemaking.

That’s when it becomes important to be the nurturing, resourceful but inherently passionate person you’ve always considered yourself to be.

Try out positions that are less acrobatic and more comfortable to those wearing a living airbag. Doggy style, side-by-side or girl-on-top all work well. Although you might consider yourself a swordsman of note, this might be a good time to practice steady, focused pressure, rather than thrusting and bucking like a stallion.

How she’s feeling:
Her back may begin to hurt, she’ll develop heartburn, swollen feet and ankles, and even varicose veins.

How you’re feeling:
Horny and wistful.

 
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